Recently one of my friends asked me to do a favor for her. As soon as I agreed, I felt that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I was over-extending myself, I wasn't practicing good self-care. I knew I did not have the time for this, and I did not want to disappoint her. And sure enough, I was resentful and angry at myself for doing what I thought I was suppose to do, rather that being honest and authentic. I might of hurt her feelings, but, I would not have been such a "debbie downer" on myself and felt the shame of "not being enough," not having enough of me to know my limits.
I appreciate what Brene Brown says about "The Power of Vulnerability" In her research, all over the world, she found a common link to what she calls the "wholehearteds," these folks live and love and are all in, they practice vulnerability and the choice to be who they are. They don't carry the weight of the "should of, could of, would of. "It is not something we inherently become. Its a daily practice of letting go of who were suppose to be, and as she says,embrace who we actually are. Its about setting boundaries, and allowing myself to be vulnerable,and also practice the courage to let go of our cultures expectation that productivity/busyness defines us, hence perfectionism. I want to be available to friends and family, but not at a cost that takes my ability to be vulnerable and authentic with the people that I care about, the people that are in my inner circle of life.They matter to me, as I need to matter to myself.
Here is a sample of Dc. Brene Browns work:
I appreciate what Brene Brown says about "The Power of Vulnerability" In her research, all over the world, she found a common link to what she calls the "wholehearteds," these folks live and love and are all in, they practice vulnerability and the choice to be who they are. They don't carry the weight of the "should of, could of, would of. "It is not something we inherently become. Its a daily practice of letting go of who were suppose to be, and as she says,embrace who we actually are. Its about setting boundaries, and allowing myself to be vulnerable,and also practice the courage to let go of our cultures expectation that productivity/busyness defines us, hence perfectionism. I want to be available to friends and family, but not at a cost that takes my ability to be vulnerable and authentic with the people that I care about, the people that are in my inner circle of life.They matter to me, as I need to matter to myself.
Here is a sample of Dc. Brene Browns work: