The model I work out of and how I treat this population, is treating the trauma in the three legged stool. Those who struggle to recover from a sex addiction, men or women, the partner, and the relationship.
Each part of the trauma model has its own distinctive, self-identified consequences. The fear of rejection that the addict has in no less than the fear that the partner has of abandonment/loss, nor the coupleship for its new reality.
My training and certifications allow me to engage in these three significant parts of a sexual addiction. While alluring, enticing and pleasurable, the forbidden fruit is also a source of great pain.
The Porn Trap, written by Wendy and Larry Maltz, an essential guide to understanding the nature of addiction and how it impacts the addict, partner and relationship write "porn magazines, books, videos, and web sites do not come with a list of ingredients, education us about their production standards or potency. When is the last time you saw a Surgeon General's warning on a porn product ?
If you or someone you know is struggling with risky, compulsive and dangerous behaviors that can lead to more extreme habits that progress to higher arousal deviant sexual encounters, ask if they would be willing to answer the following questions.
The Porn trap is specifically addressing the addictive cycle with pornography, however, the questions below that are taken from "The Porn Trap" can be adapted to any addictive life style that has a progressive nature to pre occupation, tollerance and rituals.
If your problematic behaviors involve, strip clubs, prostitution, massage parlors, serial affairs, pornography etc.....consider the questions below and get the help you deserve. This life style holds you as a prisoner. It drew you into its net and captured you under its spell, control and power. It has a life of its own and the secrecy of it has robed you and caused a lot of damage, if not now, it will, sooner or later.
1. What problems has porn caused me in the past?
2. What problems am I experiencing today because of my porn use?
3. How has poprn changed me in ways I don't like?
4.How does my porn use hurt my intimate partner and others?
5. What problems could occur in the future if I continue to use porn?
If you are a partner of someone with a sexual addiction "The Porn Trap" is a great read, I love chapter 5 for "Partners in Pain."
The authors write " Its highly unlikely that a porn user can maintain an active sexual relationship with porn ( or any other deviant sexual problematic behavior, F.M.) without it eventually having serious negative repercussions for the intimate partner and relationship."