It is not unusual for partners to want details in a formal disclosure, and as well advised, details are not always in her best interest. The preparation involved can be arduous and grueling and takes months to get to a place where the addict and partner are prepared for D-day. It is difficult for a partner to understand how the addict has dissolved to the addiction. He became the addiction, it controlled him, rules him, lures him, and takes him down a path of destruction. A world she is not familiar with, and unknowingly she was taken in the under currents of his addiction and wants to know how it was all possible. She wants answers, where, when, and how. Questions that are important to her time line, as she begins to unravel her new reality. For the addict the sad part is that in some cases he had lost all sense of time, reality, and conscious being.He does not always have the ability to support her need for clarity, it does not necessarily have to be all the details, but her clarifying questions need to be addressed.
Empathy directed at partners trauma and pain is one of the key elements that can surrender the powers of addiction around into a healing sanctification and hope for healing. Intense focus now requires the fullness of his being as a husband that is centered to her needs and in the realm of what the couple ship demands for healing and recovery.
a world beyond time
The human subconscious is characterized by a kind of eternal immediacy. In its realm, time is not linear but ductile, able to be shaped for the purposes of self-expression, and this is a critical factor in cyberporn's impact. The cyberworld offers highly anxious, angry, or otherwise emotionally charged men the relief of "losing" themselves to a timelessness in which they are no more than an ever-shifting locus of attention. Psychologist Abraham Maslow coined the state "B-Cognition" (B for "being"), meaning that in moments of intense focus, both the outside world and its perceiver dissolve. Inherent in such an erosion of self is an erosion of boundaries. The cyberworld becomes a projection of our intrapsychic reality, which is where the acting out begins.
Dr. Kimberly S. Young, the world's first "cyberpsychologist", was a pioneer analyst of technology's impact on human behavior. Founder and president of the Center for Online Addiction (netaddiction.com) and author of Caught in the Net: How to Recognize the Signs of Internet Addiction - and a Winning Strategy for Recovery, she has served as an expert witness in both civil and criminal cases.
"The feeling of a linear past, present, and future becomes more obscure as we move back and forth through synchronous and asynchronous communication," she writes. "As a result, this altered state of consciousness in cyberspace tends to shift or destabilize self-boundary ... boundaries between self and other representations become more diffuse, and thinking becomes more subjective and emotion-centered."
In other words, the dream becomes real.
Antonella Gambotto-Burk-Cyberporn the crack cocaine of sexual addiction