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December 27th, 2015

12/27/2015

Happy New Year,
As you enter the new year, and reflect on some new goals, commitments, or contracts with yourself, be sure to include honesty.
A reality that can often be difficult to look at. Below I've added an assessment that Patrick Carnes has written. Being rigorously honest with the idea of being a sex addict is not an easy thing to admit to. I have been working with this population for nearly 12 years. The men and women that are honest, not rationalizing or manipulating the truth, are the ones that I see moving toward a healthy new self. Is there shame in having and admitting to a sex addiction? You bet, once these men and women are in recovery and no longer in denial of their actions that have led to many loses, they start to make connections with their past and present behaviors and discover that there is hope for restoration. It takes commitment, conviction and a lot of hard work to turn things around. They are not only proving to themselves that they want a new found self and able to be intimate in a healthy way, but to their partners that desperately need to see these changes. There are marriages that do survive the rupture of an intimacy disorder. Its very difficult for the three legged stool to make it, the addict, partner and relationship to survive. And certainly not without community, support, good guidance and a caring team of counselors, psychologist, and psychiatrist.
If you have any thoughts or concerns about your sexual acting out behaviors, do your self a favor, come clean, get the help you deserve. Do the right thing; look for meetings in your area, SA.org, find a therapist that specializes in sexual addiction, certified sexual addiction specialist. Be honest and get direction as how to come clean and how to tell your partner. If this has been a hidden secret, you will need help as how to communicate the behaviors that have been locked up and kept as hidden from your partner.

Take a look at the assessment below; Even one of these items can be an indication of a problem. Commit to a goal this year...... take care of you....take care of business....because this matters, it can be a matter of life and death.

TEN SIGNS OF SEXUAL ADDICTION
By Patrick J. Carnes, Ph.D., CAS

Please circle the number of any signs that correspond to your own experience:

1.Recurrent failure to resist sexual impulses in order to engage in specific sexual behaviors.

2.Frequently engaging in those behaviors to a greater extent, or over a longer period of time than intended.

3.Persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to stop, reduce, or control those behaviors.

4.Inordinate amounts of time spent in obtaining sex, being sexual or recovering from sexual experiences.

5.Preoccupation with sexual behavior or preparatory activities.

6.Frequently engaging in the behavior when expected to fulfill occupational, academic, domestic or social obligations.

7.Continuation of the behavior despite knowledge of having a persistent or recurrent social, financial, psychological, or physical problem that is caused or exacerbated by the behavior.

8.The need to increase the intensity, frequency, number, or risk level of behaviors in order to achieve the desired effect; or diminished effect with continued behaviors at the same level of intensity, frequency, number, or risk.

9.Giving up or limiting social, occupational, or recreational activities because of the behavior.

10.Distress, anxiety, restlessness, or irritability if unable to engage in the behavior.

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Start - ups

12/20/2015

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Only 5 days left for Christmas, a time for family, friends and celebrating the birth of our Lord and Savior. I love this time of the year, and yet, it can be stressfull, undo pressure that we put upon ourselves. Im actually pleased with the way I have been able to let go of some of the traditions that I have held near and dear to Christmas, and manage to put away any guilt that I might have about it.
For some folks this time of the year, stress is about whether or not there staying together; how do they get through the holidays together....below is a John Gotmann, a renowned relationship researcher, "start-up" assessment. It might be helpfull to take a look at how you start up, initiate, or avoid conversations with your partner.
Being consciences of the way we respond, react is especially important to our mental, and physical health. Remember that each time your in "threat " mode, fight, flight or freeze, your body is taken in more and more cortisol, which can be toxic over time, and eventually cause heart, stomach, auto-immune deseases, to name a few... This time of the year we need more of what I call "gaba juice," the calming neurotransmitter. A mind full practice to be intentional toward your present experience can slow you down, think more towards integration of mind, body and spirit.
Be curious about the negativity you may be holding, and how it hinders......FACES.......Dr. Seigal 's work.......flexibility, adaptability, cohesiveness, energy and stability......

Merry Christmas......take care to take care of you.

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December 19th, 2015

12/19/2015

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How is viewing porn becoming a health issue?What doe Dr. Gail Dines, an international, speaker, author. Her lectures focus on the hyper sexualization of the way culture and the ways that porn images filter down into mainstream pop culture.

12/4/2015

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Is Pornography a Public Health Issue?
SPH’s Renee Johnson addresses a forum last Friday on pornography as a public health issue. Photos by Michael Saunders
In Catharine MacKinnon’s 1993 treatise Only Words, the feminist scholar writes that “the law of equality and the law of freedom of speech are on a collision course in this country.”
This semester, students at the School of Public Health are examining that collision through an unusual lens—not through the study of law or human rights, but through a lesson in hard-core pornography.
Four SPH faculty have introduced the subject of pornography into the curriculum in hopes of stirring debate around issues of public health. Does pornography shape the way adolescents think about their sexuality? Does it fuel sexual violence? Does it intentionally degrade women?
On February 10 more than 150 public health students crammed into the Medical Campus Bakst Auditorium to view a documentary about the pornography industry, The Price of Pleasure: Pornography, Sexuality & Relationships, and hear from two leading experts on the topic: Gail Dines, a professor of sociology and women’s studies at Wheelock College, and Carol Queen, a sexologist and part owner of Good Vibrations, a sex merchandise company with stores in Brookline, Mass., and San Francisco.
The debate—with Dines taking the antiporn position and Queen the pro-porn—wound through issues of racism and rape, exploitation and sex education, poverty and patriarchy.
“It feels like this is what education should be like—tackling a hotly contested topic from different perspectives, including public health,” said Emily Rothman, an SPH associate professor of community health sciences, who organized the forum. “Pornography is so widely available now, in the Internet age, it’s naive to think that it isn’t having a profound impact on our culture, including the way we interact with each other.”
SPH Dean Robert Meenan (MED’72, GSM’89) acknowledged in his opening remarks that bringing students together to view and discuss a film that included scenes of hard-core pornography was not standard public health school fare. But, he noted, “Public health has to raise and deal with uncomfortable topics, and it has to push people into uncomfortable conversations.” Sex and debate, he said, are “perspectives that [fuel] the field of public health.”
Rothman, who teaches an SPH course in sexual violence, said she began thinking seriously about introducing pornography into the curriculum after seeing the The Price of Pleasure last year. The film explores the negative aspects of “gonzo” porn, in which the focus is on sexual acts—graphic and sometimes violent—not on a narrative story line.
“My first thought was, my students have to see this,” Rothman said. “I wanted us to explore the idea of whether pornography is a public health issue—and if it is, how do we come at it as practitioners?”
SPH students watch a screening of the documentary The Price of Pleasure.
The forum brought Rothman’s class together with three other SPH classes that deal with sexuality, reproductive health, and adolescent health. The SPH faculty members teaching those classes–Renee Johnson, an assistant professor of community health sciences, Sophie Godley (SPH’15), a clinical assistant professor of community health sciences, and Lois McCloskey, an associate professor of community health sciences–said pornography crossed into public health in many areas, including risk behaviors, sexual exploitation, and gender roles and behavior. The four had discussed the issues as part of their course work in advance of the forum.
“The best evidence we have suggests that young people today are being exposed to pornography a lot,” said Johnson, who teaches a class on adolescent health. That exposure raises questions about whether pornography should be part of sex education, she said.
Students peppered Dines and Queen with questions about the impact and intent of pornography, including whether the porn industry had created a market for violent porn or whether violence in the culture had pushed porn to its gonzo extremes.
“I just don’t understand how you can support an industry that’s so violent towards women,” one student pressed Queen.
“Where is the line—a world with no porn?” another student asked Dines. “If we limit this type of speech, where do we draw the line?”
Dines said “body-punishing, brutal pornography” has become “the number one most profitable pornography,” and she argued that poverty, racism, and sexism drive the industry. “In an ideal world, they would have trouble finding women who would elect to do this” for employment, she said, adding that she views pornography as propaganda for a patriarchic social structure.
“Nothing delivers patriarchy to you like a bullet between the eyes like pornography,” she said.
Queen said gonzo porn is just one swath of the pornography landscape, and cautioned the students not to conflate violence with explicit sex. “The industry is more diverse” than what the film depicted, she said.
The two speakers clashed around the question of whether pornography is a trigger for sexual violence.
“What I know about sexual violence and rape, it isn’t about sex—it’s about violence,” Queen said. She doesn’t believe exposure to pornography “makes you do the things you see. It’s perfectly possible to see something and not imitate it.”
But Dines said it was wrong to assume that pornography plays no role in sexual violence. “Advertising has an effect on consumer behavior—we would all agree on that,” she said. “So does porn that involves violence and abuse. The bigger issue is, how is this imagery constructing men’s sexual identities?”
Rothman said research into the link between pornography and sexual violence is a new field, one she has started pursuing. A recent study she led found that young women who had seen pornography in the prior month were five times as likely as those who had not seen pornography to report having had a group-sex experience, coercive or consensual.
Godley, who teaches the SPH class Safer Sex in the City: From Science to Policy, which deals with research-based knowledge about sexuality and health, acknowledged that she was initially apprehensive about having her students see The Price of Pleasure.
But she was delighted, she said, to be part of an event that allowed for “a civil dialogue between people who disagree. That’s a rare thing in 2012—to actually have a productive discussion that moves us forward and gets us all thinking.
In the video above, SPH faculty discuss whether pornography has become a growing public health issue. Video by Michael Saunders
Lisa Chedekel can be reached at chedekel@bu.edu.

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francoise mastroianni, lcpc.,cadc., ccsas.,cpts.,
sep.,eft.

APSATS, the only organization that specializes in the reparation and certification of Partner Specialists. Training and certifying: Certified Clinical
Partner Specialists (CCPS) and Certified Partner Coaches (CPC) who subscribe to a developing
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partners affected by sex addiction.
patnertraumaspecialists.org

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December 27th, 2015

Start - ups

December 19th, 2015

How is viewing porn becoming a health issue?What doe Dr. Gail Dines, an international, speaker, author. Her lectures focus on the hyper sexualization of the way culture and the ways that porn images filter down into mainstream pop culture.

francoise mastroianni, lcpc.,cadc., ccsas.,cpts.,sep.,eft.

francoise mastroianni, lcpc.,cadc., ccsas.,cpts.,
sep.,eft.